Funny jokes and stuff

OK, that cool games and programs didnt really go down too well (LOL no replys) so how about instead talkin' abut funny jokes you know

 

yeh you got some?

 

Yeah!

what do u get when u cross a fish and an elephant?
swimming trunks!

what did the hat say to the scarf?
You go round a neck i'll go on ahead!

LMAO

You got any?

 

Not so much a joke, this fits the Stuff category...

A BIT OF WISDOM

An old man and a young boy were traveling through their village with their
donkey. The boy rode the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along
they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking
and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were
right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that
remarked: "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided
they both would walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought they
were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both
rode the donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying:
"How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey." The boy and man said they
were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed
the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river
and drowned.

The moral of the story ? If you try to please everyone, you might as well
kiss your ass good-bye!

 

That's a good moral e10. Very true indeed.

What do you call an Irishman bouncing off a wall? Rick O'Shay

 

Two old ladies sitting in church.

One turns to the other and says, ¨You know, Flora, we´ve been here so long my bum has gone to sleep!¨

Her companion replied, ¨Yes, Dora, I know. I´ve heard it snoring three times.¨

 

Q- What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?


Roberto

- sorry couln't resist

 

Man walks into a bar






*Ouch*

 

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

 

No, yfs1 is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, yfs1 does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, yfs1 does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, yfs1 does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. yfs1 does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, yfs1 does that, too.

Until now it seems yfs1 is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So yfs1 is not a virus.

He's a bug.

lmao

Dont forget the rep guys !
__________________

 

Shameless, Absolutely Shameless

 

Was a joke, Dont try and divert attention from the real problem
The only benefit of rep to me is the sig.

 

they are seriously good jokes ppl, keep 'em comin' in!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lololololololololololololololololololololololol



i just remembered another joke

a man is coming home from the pub one night, and he tkes a shortcut through a grave yard, and he notices that a grave stone has fallen over, so he picks it up and walks away, and it falls over again, so he goes back picks it up and makes sure that it doesnt fall over again, and he walks away, and it does. So he tries to find some wire or string to hold the grave stone up, and he finds some wire and attaches it to the grave stone and a tree near by to stop it falling over.

Two days later two other ppl r walking through the grave yard and one of 'em says
"he's doing alright hes got a phone installed in his coffin!"

 

what the heck is yfs1?!

 

Abbreviation of his domain name...

 

nice jokes guys
i remember reading some at this site
http://www.yallajokes.com/

the main page u tube vdo s hillarious

 

Few one liners i came across. Maybe old but worth a share!

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

I love joke threads and blogs. (especially after a hard day at the office, laughter is the best medicine)

 

He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening.

 

Nice moral. I liked this. It is more pleasant than a joke.