Who is Chuck Norris ?

Q :- Who is Chuck Norris ?
A :- Chuck Norris is a guy you don`t mess with. He`s a one man Nuke.
Here are some Chuck Norris facts :-

Chuck Norris can beat you at a staring contest with his eyes closed
Chuck Norris can connect parallel lines
Superman has a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.
Boots cost Chuck Norris a fortune! He keeps losing them up people's asses!
Once as a 3 year old child, Chuck Norris fell down and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
Chuck Norris Can Cut a Box In Half With 1 Finger
Chuck Norris knocked a whole forest down by looking at it
Chuck Norris once piddled on an electric fence. This took down the power grid in Texas, Oklahoma, Arizona and parts of Southern Utah.
Chuck Norris can touch a bottomless pit
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
Giraffes are created when Chuck Norris uppercuts a Horse!
Chuck Norris once made a 367 yard putt with a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris can dehydrate water.
Chuck Norris can sharpen a pencil by sticking it into his ear.
Chuck Norris opens beer bottles with the nearest person's anus.
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with a statue.

AND there`s more :-

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Chuck Norris can piddle into gale force winds.
Chuck Norris is the only guy to be booked for speeding in a parked car.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice
Chuck Norris has a bear in his room, it is`nt dead just afraid to move.
Google once asked Chuck Norris where to search.
Chuck Norris can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together !!
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with a stick of butter
After meals, Chuck Norris picks his teeth with a bowie knife.
If you see Chuck Norris, and he's moving, it's already too late to run.
Chuck Norris can make the Goodyear blimp do a barrel-roll.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can choke you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris set the world record in Pole Vaulting using a tooth pick.
When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris once defeated a laser beam in the 100 metre dash.
Chuck Norris can hit a golf ball twice with one swing.
Chuck Norris can fly submarines
Chuck Norris can climb waterfalls.

 

Chuck Norris jokes are kind of old school now..

 

This jokes are actually crazy. xD.

 

Chuck Norris is a martial artist and an actor who also served in the air force

 

He's an old man now

 

Wow chuck is the strongest man in the world don`t mass with him

 

Chuck Norris is a great action hero

 

LOL, it's weird but still funny

 

Yep, he sure is at 72 years old. Instead of kicking butts, he spends all his time crushing grapes.

 

OK fair enough, but dear old Chuck has been around a long time and I did not put the thread on for Chuckies who have seen it all before, I did it for those thousands who have not read these facts and who need a good laugh. I am very familiar with this one man Hurricane, but even I laughed my tits off at these facts.

That old saying " There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle" is valid even today.

 

Uhhm you know a lot about Chuck huh....

 

My Fav:
Chuck Norris has a bear in his room, it is`nt dead just afraid to move.

Mr Norris is a Legend cant wait to see Expendables 2

 

Google knows who ist Chuck Norris nochucknorris.com