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Funny Jokes, Poetry & Stories

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. #1
    4 Facts in the World
    Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue;











    Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.


    Fact 3: Fact1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.......... :p ........


    Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!! :p
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  2. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #2
    A group of girlfriends go on vacation and they see a five-star hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.
    The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside."
    So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and kind." The friends laugh and without hesitation, move on to the next floor.
    The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly." This wasn't going to do, so the friends move up to the third floor, where the sign reads, "All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women."
    This was good, but there were still two more floors.
    On the fourth floor, the sign was perfect. "All the men here have perfect builds, are sensitive and attentive to women, are perfect lovers, and are single, rich and straight."
    The women seem pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth.
    When they reach the fifth floor, there is a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that it is impossible to please a woman."
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  3. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #3
    A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day.

    Here's his dynamite speech : Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

    We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.
    The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

    I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Joy Hind!"
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  4. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #4
    some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

    LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

    LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

    BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  5. deluxdon

    deluxdon Catch Me If You Can...!!!™ Staff

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    #5
    Which of the two birds is a female?

    Below are two birds. Study them closely......... See if you can spot which of the two is the female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills ;)


    *


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    *


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    [​IMG]
    Click on Image and see yourself.
     
    deluxdon, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  6. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #6
    Lol "Which of the two birds is a female?" very funny.. Another example of female dominance:p
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  7. Software_outsourcing

    Software_outsourcing Peon

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    #7
    How do u know I am laughing . That is not a fact but a fiction :D
     
    Software_outsourcing, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  8. KingofKings

    KingofKings Banned

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    #8
    Well I won't lie and say that I didn't try touching my teeth with my tongue.. :D
     
    KingofKings, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  9. grazie_web

    grazie_web Banned

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    #9
    hahaha.... yeah, i have noticed that.... huh...;)
     
    grazie_web, Feb 19, 2007 IP
  10. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #10
    A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
    While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
    Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery,
    the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
    God replied,
    " Extremely srry, Ma'm.....I juss didn't recognize you."
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  11. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #11
    Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
    "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?"
    "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."

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    "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
    "Do you drink a lot?"
    "Not really - I spill most of it!"

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    "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
    "Yes, of course..."
    "Great! I never could before!"

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    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
    "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
    "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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    The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."
    "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."

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    A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
    "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
    By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
    "What took you so long to answer?"
    "I was in bed."
    "What were you doing in bed this late?"
    "Getting a second opinion."

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    Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
    Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
    Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
    Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
    Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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    A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
    "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
    "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
    "10..." says the doctor.
    "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
    "10...9...8...7..."

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    Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
    Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

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    A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
    "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
    The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."


    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
    "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
    "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
    "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
    The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
    The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

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    A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a checkup. "Remember," the doctor said, "don't get excited, don't get mad, and forget about baseball when you're off the field." Then he added, "By the way, how come you let the pitcher bat yesterday with the tying run on second and two men out in the ninth?"

    Mark Wachs, The funniest jokes and how to tell them

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    "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
    "Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

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    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
    On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.
    On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
    "But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
    "I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

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    A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
    He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
    The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
    He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"

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    A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."
    2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
    1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
    1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
    1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
    1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
    2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

    A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
    The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."
    The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

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    A doctor said to his car mechanic, "Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
    "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year."

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    The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
    "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
    "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

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    "The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
    "And did he?"
    "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

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    A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
    He said, "Shingles."
    So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
    A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.
    He said, "Shingles."
    So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
    Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.
    He said, "Shingles."
    So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
    Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
    He said, "Shingles."
    The doctor said, "Where?"
    He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

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    A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better."
    The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
    She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."
    He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday."
    The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!"
    The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"
    She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me a word!"

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    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.
    After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

    According to a true story sent by Phil Shaffer

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    If it is dry - add moist; if it is moisten - add dryness. Congratulations, now you are a dermatologist.

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    Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain."
    "Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."

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    A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
    The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."

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    Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
    Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
    Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.

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    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -- I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?"
    The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."

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    A urologist's license plate:

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    A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something."
    The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead".
    The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else."
    The vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. "Well, that confirms it," the vet says, "your dog is dead."
    The lady is very upset but finally settles down. "Okay, I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet says, "That will be $340."
    The lady has a fit and asks, "Why is it so much? After all the vet didn't do anything for the dog."
    "Well", the vet replied, "it's $40 for the office visit and $300 for the CAT SCAN!"
    ------------------------------------------------------
    He is not dead, he is electroencephalographically challenged.



    -------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  12. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #12
    "Are you an organ donor?"
    "No, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army."



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    A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?" The man replies "Not BAAAAD!"



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    What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
    One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.



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    What is a double-blind study?
    Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.



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    A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God answered, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

    After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

    Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years, why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

    God replied, "I didn't recognize you."



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    Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

    Oops!
    Has anyone seen my watch?
    That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
    Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
    Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
    OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
    Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
    Come back with that! Bad Dog!
    Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
    Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
    If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
    Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
    Damn, there go the lights again...
    Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
    Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
    Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
    I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
    Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
    Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
    What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
    What do you mean, he's not insured?
    This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
    Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
    Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
    What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
    I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
    Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
    That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
    Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
    Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
    Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
    FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!



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    At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

    After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.

    As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a surgeon".
    She confirms and asks how he knew.
    "Easy, you're always washing your hands."
    She then says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist."
    Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?"
    Female doctor: "I didn't feel a thing."



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    Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

    The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm...green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

    A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."



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    You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...


    your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

    discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

    you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

    you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.

    you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.

    you say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.

    you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."

    you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".

    you have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"

    you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".

    your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"





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    You Might Be an E.R. Volunteer if...

    your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.

    you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.

    the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.

    you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.

    your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.

    the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"

    your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

    your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.

    your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.

    you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.






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    How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
    That depends on whether it has health insurance.
    None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.
    None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.
    None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.
    Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.
    Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

    How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.
    Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now.

    How many veterinarians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Three. One to change the bulb and two more to complain that an MD makes ten times as much for the same procedure!!

    How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  13. deluxdon

    deluxdon Catch Me If You Can...!!!™ Staff

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    #13
    Can U Prove 3=2 ??

    This seems to be an anomaly or whatever u call in mathematics.

    See this illustration:

    -6 = -6

    9-15 = 4-10

    adding 25/4 to both sides:

    9-15+25/4 = 4-10+25/4

    Changing the order

    9+25/4-15 = 4+25/4-10

    (this is just like a square + b square - two a b = (a-b)square.)

    Here a = 3, b=5/2 for L.H.S and a =2, b=5/2 for R.H.S.

    So it can be expressed as follows:

    (3-5/2)(3-5/2) = (2-5/2)(2-5/2)

    Taking positive square root on both sides:

    3 - 5/2 = 2 - 5/2

    3 = 2 ????????

    :D
     
    deluxdon, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  14. uttoransen

    uttoransen Prominent Member

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    #14

    i think that 25/4 is breaking some rules, not so good in maths so i can't say much.........anyways, it's nice.
     
    uttoransen, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  15. Rohit patel

    Rohit patel Prominent Member

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    #15
    This is such a good collection of jokes. Thanks fors haring it with us. I will put mine one too. :D

    Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
    Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
    Teacher : Spell it?
    Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
     
    Rohit patel, Feb 21, 2007 IP
  16. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #16
    :p Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transferred fromone girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.
    First Law:
    A boy in love with a girl, continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continues to be in love with him, until n unless some external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into the scene andbreaks the legs of the boy.
    Second Law:
    The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to the increament or decreament of thebank balance.
    Third Law:
    The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals
    :D
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 25, 2007 IP
  17. alhilal

    alhilal Peon

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    #17
    hehehe hehehe
     
    alhilal, Feb 25, 2007 IP
  18. escape-it

    escape-it Peon

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    #18
    I love musician jokes:

    How can you tell if there's a drummer at your door?
    He doesn't know when to come in.

    How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    One. He just holds it in place and the world revolves around him.
     
    escape-it, Feb 26, 2007 IP
  19. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #19
    I love you because you make me happy


    I love you because you make me feel safe and secure


    I love your smile


    I love the way you say my name


    I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me. And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put me down.


    I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am. No matter what my faults may be.


    I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days better At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, andfeeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand... reality hits that you are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.


    I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like there is no tomorrow And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.


    I love your laugh


    I love hearing your voice


    I love that you get along with my family and friend, no matter how much you dislike them, or who they are.


    And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 28, 2007 IP
  20. career_info_fun

    career_info_fun Peon

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    #20
    This is indeed very touching...


    A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love
    with a guy who was a cleaner.
    When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it
    at all, and so began to protest about it.
    Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a
    happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but
    could not find them.
    At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a
    local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow
    you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."
    So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to
    town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that
    day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks
    for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl
    lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her
    shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had
    died horribly.
    Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old
    lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy
    from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored
    the dream.
    The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then
    when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and
    told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes
    which have blood stains immediately.
    She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the
    same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
    Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave
    her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible
    will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and
    the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
    She was very tired.
    In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone
    knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of
    her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
    The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the
    girl. She asked "What is this...?"
    The old lady replied...











    "Try Surf Exel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all
    stubborn stains!!!" .

    Thank you for reading
     
    career_info_fun, Feb 28, 2007 IP