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Behaviour with your child

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by dipal76, Jan 8, 2016.

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  1. #1
    Dear Friends,
    What you will do if your child do anything wrong with you or do any mistake?
     
    dipal76, Jan 8, 2016 IP
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  2. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #2
    Want to give an example?

    I'd normally tell them what I'd expected and that they'd fallen short of expectations
    If it's a small thing - like leaving a plate on a table and going off to do something else then I'd just call them back
    If it's a big thing then it might be a more involved conversation about consequences, how other people feel

    How old is the child in question?
     
    sarahk, Jan 8, 2016 IP
  3. Shawn Syed

    Shawn Syed Greenhorn

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    #3
    The question should be what should we do to adults who do wrong by the child, there are more adults doing wrong by the child than children doing wrong by adults. I seriously think that people should be required to get parenting classes before allowed to have children.
     
    Shawn Syed, Jan 8, 2016 IP
  4. SEMWORLD2015

    SEMWORLD2015 Greenhorn

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    #4
    If my childrens make mistake then I'll forbid them so that they don't do such again. In next I'll try to learn them about the negative effects of such mistake.
     
    SEMWORLD2015, Jan 9, 2016 IP
  5. Priki

    Priki Active Member

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    #5
    Excellent question!

    I live in a country were people have problems to brought up their kids. I mean, I don't have family, but the way how people treat their children's is so wrong. The problem is that they don't have communication between them. I will feel that I don't deserve the title father if I don't succeed to be a friend with my own kid.
     
    Priki, Jan 9, 2016 IP
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  6. Zirkon Kalti

    Zirkon Kalti Well-Known Member

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    #6
    Its wrong for parents to punish their children such as making them go up and down pulling each other ears or threatening to slap them, put chili in mouth and etc as I think this is one kind of child abuse. Instead, you should be talking nicely to your children and persuade them. If they don't listen, you can sound more serious.
     
    Zirkon Kalti, Jan 9, 2016 IP
  7. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #7
    lol, you don't have kids do you?
    Drops something and it breaks
    I forbid you from breaking things again

    and what are the consequences of doing something forbidden?
    I think that's more of an adult phrase for things like infidelity.
    If kids aren't stuffing up occasionally then they aren't going to learn.
     
    sarahk, Jan 9, 2016 IP
  8. Shawn Syed

    Shawn Syed Greenhorn

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    #8
    Agreed, if they aren't doing something wrong then they cant be called kids lol, we need to focus on nurturing, loving and caring. All these things require effort, time and patience. Lazy parenting focuses on a quick swat on the bum, yelling and screaming and such other beautiful human traits.
     
    Shawn Syed, Jan 9, 2016 IP
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  9. qwikad.com

    qwikad.com Illustrious Member Affiliate Manager

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    #9
    I have a strong willed almost 4 year old one. We do exactly what you outlined there but it has to be repeated 20-50 times a day, every day. She's becoming less difficult though.
     
    qwikad.com, Jan 9, 2016 IP
  10. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #10
    Consistency is the key. And 4 is a busy age, there are so many awesome distractions that it's really hard to stay focused. A child is learning to separate themselves from the parents so their disapproval becomes less important (but only by a bit).

    Shows like Super Nanny are awesome because they show that with good parenting any child can come around and it doesn't have to be fire and brimstone and lots of "forbidding". We used to watch it with the kids (about 6 years ago) and my son, in particular, learnt alot from it and his behaviour actually improved after watching which used to amuse me.
     
    sarahk, Jan 9, 2016 IP
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  11. Shawn Syed

    Shawn Syed Greenhorn

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    #11
    You are not their friend, you still need to provide structure, discipline and order but it doesnt have to be loud and violent. Lack of structure is still classified as abuse. Bad behavior has to have consequences like time out and for their well being they have to see you as an authority figure, benevolent authority though. No yelling, shouting and hitting.
     
    Shawn Syed, Jan 9, 2016 IP
  12. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #12
    Many fathers were traditionally cold and distant. Better a friend than nothing at all. But an older friend, who looks out for you and leads the way, warns you of trouble and takes you on adventures. A friend won't put up with your s*** and many people expect friends to, a friend who will judge you if you something shameful or wrong - so in some ways if the parent is a friend it's not a bad thing.

    The time it falls apart is the American concept of a parent being a friend when they're not actually a friend but the parent is more like a bullied, anxious, wanna-be friend who fears losing the approval of the cool kids. Our children need to know that those kinds of friendships are toxic and we shouldn't be part of that kind of relationship with anyone.
     
    sarahk, Jan 9, 2016 IP
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  13. Priki

    Priki Active Member

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    #13
    Mate, I don't have kids, but for one thing I am sure 100%, if you try to be a friend with your kid then be sure that you will not have problem to provide structure, discipline and order. The main problem with my country and generally is that the parents don't know how to be a best friend with their child, that's why when the kids grown older have problem to make some new friends.

    But an older friend, who looks out for you and leads the way, warns you of trouble and takes you on adventures.
    Bravo Sarah!
     
    Priki, Jan 11, 2016 IP
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