bizarre reactions from an ex, perhaps the ladies could help me here?

One of my ex's has, for a while, being acting really weird. She went from being nice and friendly to being exceptionally bitchy and flat-out ignoring me. I recently managed to find out why, and it turns out that she's dating someone that she doesn't want me to find out about (as apparently I'd know him, which I thought was funny as I can't remember the names of the people in my street, let alone some guy in an Afrikaans suburb 60+km away). She was petrified that I'd even find out she had a bf (note: she's had other boyfriends since we dated), let alone who it was. All her friends I asked were petrified too. This, of course, made me worry, as who could this guy be that it was so important that I didn't find out about him. Well, i do find it slightly touching that she cares about my opinion, but as she should know that I'd only be concerned about her bfs if they happened to be those scum-of-the-earth types, my worrying about it was justifiable. After much pestering and having to agree to melodramatic agreements about not mentioning who I got this info from, i managed to convince one of her friends to spill the beans.

I nervously waited for the sms, as the way everyone was acting, this was one of those "Huge" things. So, I get the sms.

I lolled and lolled and lolled.

This dude that everyone was petrified about me finding out about, the guy that was the cause of all her bitchiness and crap I had to go through, turns about to be the guy she dumped so we could start dating (her words were, paraphrased, "I'm dumping him because you're not a dick". Yes, he's a loser and jerk (hence me forgetting that even he even existed), but he's not quite scum-of-the-earth...

The whole thing was rather anticlimatic.

In an effort to understand this really silly scenario I've tried to map out the logical steps from "im redating the guy i initially dumped to date relixx" to "holy freaking crap if he finds out..." and I can't do it, it's just too illogical given the factors involved. The friends freaking out i can sort-of understand, as it falls under that "lets show our support by imitating her" phenomenon I've noticed women do (in this case, it's "let's ignore the sheer stupidity of this and, instead of trying to fix the problem, lets all become delusional and batsh*t-crazy too! Yes, sister, we're all supporting you in this lunacy by copying your every insane move!"), but i just cannot understand why she's acting like this way.

Thus, my questions to the ladies: can any of you shed light on the reasoning a woman uses to go from "im redating the guy i initially dumped to date relixx" to the irrationality of "holy freaking crap if he finds out..." understanding that

a) Im not about to go "sort him out" in a jealous rage or something as childish as that. Such actions are inherently stupid and unconstructive (besides, if he did something extreme that would, according to most people, warrant such an action, her dad would kill him on the spot. You don't mess with a large, angry Afrikaans father who has hunting shotguns and military training in explosives )
b) She should know from past experience that I'd actually be happy for her if she managed to patch things up with him (even if I do think he's got the intelligence of the walking dead and is a lying coward) as she was acting rather emo him ever since they broke up.

Note that Im not angry with her, just bemused by all of this. It's all so melodramatic and like something in a Soap Opera (minus the incest and bed-hopping )


EDIT: no, im not interested in dating her again, and moved on ages ago (bloody hell, we dated years ago, and ive had other girlfriends since then) so stop suggesting i should move on. try reading the damn post instead of jumping to conclusions, sheeh :/

 

Key word here is "X"...

Leave it alone and let if be... Move on with your life, the past is the past...

You have alot of years ahead of you, Enjoy them...

 

Well, im the type of guy who doesn't just stop being friends with someone because we've hit a bump in the relationship. To me, just quitting on a friendship because of a 'bump in the road' smacks me as immature and cowardly (obviously, the size and nature of the 'bump' must be taken into account*. But something like this? please...) If I had just stopped being friends with her I wouldnt have found out that the reason for it is trivial and easily solved. Through all of this I've learnt a bit and had a good chuckle at the end. what more can you ask for?


first one to make a joke about "bump" meaning "pregnancy" needs to be shot

 

Because what you think dictates how she feels, more then likely. She is a woman, afterall. Her self-image and worth is totally dependant upon others.

Simplified:

- Girl see's prick
- You find out girl see's prick
- Girl feels like an idiot

I wonder if we an extend this:

- You tell her she's an idiot to confirm it and knock her self-worth
- You tell her you don't want her in your life anymore and say your goodbyes
- Girl feels stupid and worthless
- Girl feels like she isn't getting what she wants out of seeing the prick
- Girl crawls back to you
- You see girl
- Girl feels better about herself again
- Better enough to leave you again
- You post on DP asking women for advice
- GADOOD replies with more bollocks

Pete

 

*Time Heals Alot of Wounds*...

Give it some time... May take longer than you want, but give it some time...

 

"If I had just stopped being friends with her I wouldnt have found out that the reason for it is trivial and easily solved."

Honestly, it can't. It's over. That is it. If she says different, she's lieing.

It isn't trivial or easily solved, else she would of solved it already had she wanted to and wanted to be with you.

She doesn't. Sorry mate. Move on, remove her from your life.

Let her date pricks. Find yourself someone who wants to be with you.

Do not dwell or turn in to a weird stalker - it sounds like you're not too far off.

Pete

 

lol, wtf? oh wait, you're a forum troll. never mind then

 

The reason she is so petrified is possibly because she is afraid you will be telling the guy she is currently dating the things that she said to you about the whole-your-not-such-a-dick-as-he-is, etc.

And maybe she is pregnant of him? And therefor loosing him as a financial supporter for the coming child.

Just a possibility...

 

I am? You are 'friends' with her only because you think you can be together again once you have solved the 'trivial' problems as you see it that ended the relationship.

You are entering dangerous teritory if you don't accept the reality of the situation - she doesn't want you.

I'm being honest, I aren't trolling.. It's in your best interests to remove this girl from your life and all hope you have before your obsession goes further my friend.

Pete

 

Doubt it. I never speak to the guy.

Hmmm, I also thought that he might of gotten her pregnant, but if that was the case the parents would have known (wont go into that) and her dad would of killed him (and running's no use, he's won many skeet-shoot championships )

 

lol, what? I'm not interested in dating her again, ive already said it.

And as for you not trolling this time, i dunno. you may be right about that, but it doesn't stop you from making crap up.

Is it inconceivable that ppl can remain friends after breaking up without some alterior motive? That may be the case where you come from, but this is reality.