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Chuck Norris Jokes (Add Your Own)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by mdvaldosta, Jan 8, 2008.

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  1. #1
    Ok, got this idea from Chuck Norris Facts, but we'll do our own. Add em as you get em...

    Chuck Norris is a former #1 draft pick in the NFL. He immediately retired when they told him in training camp that a round house kick to the face was not a legal method of tackling. Enraged, he cursed the franchise to never ever make the playoffs. We know them as the Detroit Lions.
     
    mdvaldosta, Jan 8, 2008 IP
  2. 007wood

    007wood Banned

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    #2
    Chuck Norris won connect-4 with 3 moves. :D
     
    007wood, Jan 8, 2008 IP
  3. amazing_greg

    amazing_greg Peon

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    #3
    Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
     
    amazing_greg, Jan 8, 2008 IP
  4. DomainMagnate

    DomainMagnate Illustrious Member

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    #4
    Yeah I love these!

    Btw I've read recently that Chuck decided to sue the people who spread this jokes :eek:
     
    DomainMagnate, Jan 8, 2008 IP
  5. genkied

    genkied Active Member

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    #5
    i like this

    There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
     
    genkied, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  6. ZeroCapacity

    ZeroCapacity Peon

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    #6
    Know why we have not caught Osama yet? Chuck Norris is to busy roundhouse kicking people to do for the President.

    Shawn
     
    ZeroCapacity, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  7. DRay9911

    DRay9911 Peon

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    #7
    there are so many good ones i can't think of just one to post.

    i can't wait to read what everyone else puts as their favorite.

    -dan
     
    DRay9911, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  8. DRay9911

    DRay9911 Peon

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    #8
    i was checking this thread out again to see if anyone else had posted.

    but when i read this post again, i started thinking:

    would chuck norris waste time suing people, or would have just find each one of them and give them a spinning round house kick to the head?

    -dan



     
    DRay9911, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  9. Munday

    Munday Peon

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    #9
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
     
    Munday, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  10. Lethal7

    Lethal7 Active Member

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    #10
    Chuck Norris does not sleep with a light on because he is scared of the dark, he sleeps with a light on because the dark is scared of him!
     
    Lethal7, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  11. w3bmaster

    w3bmaster Notable Member

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    #11
    I like fakes that's why i watch Chucks movies
     
    w3bmaster, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  12. Munday

    Munday Peon

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    #12
    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
     
    Munday, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  13. mightyb

    mightyb Banned

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    #13
    Chuck Norris has too many jokes about him because he is a pussy wussy...
     
    mightyb, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  14. meamrussian

    meamrussian Active Member

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    #14
    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    He also counted to infinity--twice.
     
    meamrussian, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  15. bangalore

    bangalore Peon

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    #15
    Internet was invented by Chuck Norris, so he could place he’s porn collection.
     
    bangalore, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  16. bob50963

    bob50963 Peon

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    #16
    After partying all night Chuck Norris doesn't throw up he throws down :)

    Chuck Norris isnt hung like a horse a horse is hung like Chuck Norris
     
    bob50963, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  17. 2blind2c#

    2blind2c# Peon

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    #17
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity....

    ....twice
     
    2blind2c#, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  18. Firegirl

    Firegirl Peon

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    #18
    When Chuck Norris goes in to donate blood, he doesn't allow them to use a needle. He asks for a gun and a bucket.....

    Dinner with my boyfriend's family consists of competitions on who has the worst Chuck Norris quote so I've heard hundreds unfortunately....
     
    Firegirl, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  19. Rezo

    Rezo Well-Known Member

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    #19
    Chuck Norris visited The Virgin Islands once. They are now known as The Islands.
     
    Rezo, Jan 9, 2008 IP
  20. webwork

    webwork Banned

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    #20
    The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

    lmfao
     
    webwork, Jan 9, 2008 IP
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