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Chuck Norris Jokes (Add Your Own)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by mdvaldosta, Jan 8, 2008.

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  1. icemannn

    icemannn Peon

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    #61
    Chuck Norris today living in the Japan;-)
     
    icemannn, Apr 23, 2010 IP
  2. Koala

    Koala Well-Known Member

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    #62
    here are mine.

    You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.

    Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!

    Chuck Norris email address is .

    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
    Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

    When Truman decided to bomb Hiroshima for World War II it was because it was more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

    Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Schwarzenegger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is.
    Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man."
    Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man."
    Chuck Norris said, "Get the out of my chair."
     
    Koala, Apr 24, 2010 IP
  3. christopher.zerbe

    christopher.zerbe Peon

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    #63
    1. Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar, a klondike bar has to do something for Chuck Norris.

    2. When people say "God bless America" they're refering to Chuck Norris.

    3. When the groundhog sees his shadow, he really sees Chuck Norris.

    4. Theres no such thing as world peace, it's called Chuck Norris.
     
    christopher.zerbe, Apr 26, 2010 IP
  4. extremepullups

    extremepullups Peon

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    #64
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    awesome
     
    extremepullups, Apr 27, 2010 IP
  5. Koala

    Koala Well-Known Member

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    #65
    here are some more..

    Some people wear Superman pajamas.
    Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

    Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris........ After 5 days of extreme pain........ the snake died.

    Chuck Norris has been on Mars, that's why there is no life there.
     
    Koala, Apr 27, 2010 IP
  6. WHITExOUT

    WHITExOUT Peon

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    #66
    Chuck Norris cant use condoms he has to use a laminator
     
    WHITExOUT, Jul 3, 2010 IP
  7. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #67
    chuck Norris can speak Chinese in Latin
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  8. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #68
    1.Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
    2.Chuck Norris made a unicycle with 2 wheels
    3.Chuck Norris can drown a fish
    4.Geico saved 100% by switching to Chuck Norris
    5.When Chuck Norris wins a race, there are no other places because they were burnt to a crisp by the flames he leaves behind
    6.Chuck Norris built a log cabin out of bricks
    7.Chuck Norris can breathe in space
    8.Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
    9.When Chuck Norris was eating dinner he got tired of switching between a spoon and a fork, so he smashed them together and invented the spork
    10.Chuck Norris breaks the sound barrier when he sneezes
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  9. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #69
    Death had a near Chuck Norris experience
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  10. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #70
    Chuck Norris created giraffes by uppercutting a horse
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  11. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #71
    One time a man named Victor said he could beat up Chuck Norris, out of nowhere he appeared and beat his ass...then when he tried to apologize Chuck Norris ripped his dick off...and now you know Victoria's secret
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  12. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #72
    Chuck Norris can text using a payphone
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  13. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #73
    Chuck Norris cant lose in bingo, his board is all free spaces
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  14. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #74
    ostriches were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a turkey
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  15. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #75
    Chuck Norris wakes up in the morning like every normal American male with a massive boner, he eats a bowl of dynamite for breakfast, and after taking a 2 flush mega shit, he wipes his ass with kids letters to santa claus
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  16. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #76
    Chuck Norris can rip the sleeves off a tank top
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  17. SAVAGElh10

    SAVAGElh10 Peon

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    #77
    Chuck Norris can score a touchdown in basketball
     
    SAVAGElh10, Jul 11, 2010 IP
  18. kiriunt

    kiriunt Peon

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    #78
    Internet was invented by Chuck Norris, so he could place he’s porn collection.
     
    kiriunt, Jul 12, 2010 IP
  19. r277385

    r277385 Peon

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    #79
    Chuck Norris found the end of the never-ending pasta bowl.
     
    r277385, Oct 29, 2010 IP
  20. web404

    web404 Peon

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    #80
    Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.

    Everytime Chuck Norris breathes, someone in the World invents a new Chuck Norris fact.

    "Chuck Norris' wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, Time to kick ass. "
     
    web404, Mar 7, 2011 IP
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