Funny dog stories...Anyone else?

I think you're just envious

 

Damn you sussed me out, Minnie man!

How i'd love to be able to hump male and female dogs.

But..but...but, I just couldn't take the dogs owners string of abuse last time.

 

LOL

Mojo is hyper sensitive. She use to pace the room a lot at night when she was a puppy so one night I yelled at her "Clickety clackety, clickety clackety...ENOUGH already!" Now if if you even wisper 'clickety clackety' around her she does this funny howling bark/growl and then runs away. She KNOWS you're teasing her.


Also...she hates it when people talk through wrapping paper tubes.

 

You are not alone, Mella. Pretty much everyone in Scotland and Ireland shares your pain.

 

LMAO. I just got the funniest red rep for that comment I made.

God...it really comes to something when u can't joke about dog humping without prejudice!!!

 

Some people just have no sense of humor at all... seriously... I don't understand how people like that survive

 

Hey, r u guys boosting my doggie thread?

Me too for my op

Probably from one of those people that hates animals and accidently brushed thier teeth with Preparation H this morning .

If I sit in my relaxing chair and start to sing, Shadow will match my voice tones, makes for some pretty sad country music at social gatherings .

 

This is either funny or disgusting, depending on how twisted you are... you've been warned.

A few weeks ago I adopted a beautiful 9 year old male Siberian Husky from rescue... his owners moved and didn't want him anymore. Poor guy wasn't treated well at his previous home. He had fear issues, was very thin, afraid to be petted, stuff like that.

After about a week of making no progress with Auggie I was desperate! In an attempt to get him to trust me and eat enough to gain some weight I bought a bunch of jerky. I'd bite off a piece and hand it to him from my mouth, like a mommy dog. He'd cautiously take it while shaking in fear, but the jerky was good and he couldn't resist.

After about 3 days of this Auggie was my buddy, I could pet him and he never left my side. I stopped the odd feeding routine and all was good! ...Until... I gave him a roast beef dinner... And he loved it... A lot... then about 15 minutes after he finished his beef, he walked up to me and regurgitated a small portion into the palm of my hand to repay the kindness. Ack! in my desperation, I'd forgotten that's how canines in the wild feed their young!

Didn't want to scare confuse or him so all I could do was thank him, pet him nicely, and then go wash up.

My doggie loves me!

 

LOL, smart plan of attack and it worked.

I hope you accepted .

 

Annie Mowat rewrites Never Cry Wolf

Sorry about the dog thread hijack, Homie...

Back to funny dog stories. Once when I was a kid, I ate 6 hot dogs at a barbecue and then threw up - not exactly like Annie's Augie Doggie story but close enough

 

Once when I was a kid, I ate a whole apple pie in a pie eating contest. I did NOT throw up...and I won!!!

 

That's not about dogs... and it isn't funny if nobody throws up...

 

Uuugghhh..once when I was a kid I got bit by a dog, and my friend's monkey pooped on my shoe.

 

Did the dog throw up?

 

I have a video of my dog humping this girl's leg. He's also a weiner dog.





And he cries when he humps.

 

Yeah I got the same ''sick f*cker'' comment.

How original.

 

Well, thank you for getting us back on track then . I think I read somewhere on another thread at DP that weren't a real dog fan...I may be wrong, though. You may like this story?

My last Rottie, Bones used to love people, especially at parties where many people were carrying on. For some reason this dog developed a liking for beer caps. I would put a beer cap on his nose and tell him to stay. He would look at me with this certain glare of intensity waiting for the green light to snipe it. Once I gave him the go ahead *snap 'n chomp*! He would chew that beer cap until it was a tiny little ball, spit it out where ever the party was being held and look for another. The next day you would wake and find hundreds of these perfectly round beer caps EVERYWHERE.

This same dog had a natural knack for tracking. One of his favorite games was finding beer caps that you hide...which he always did. At the time I had a 3,000 square foot industrial unit and on Fridays my neighbors would come over for a beer. We would put bones in the front locked up in my office, hide the cap anywhere in my shop, let him out of my office and tell him 'seek, bones, seek'. He would get that sniffer of his working and find the cap. It may have taken him anywhere from 1- 10 mins. If it was closer to the 10 the min mark his festering gob would be all over his face . But he ALWAYS found the cap!

What r they thinken? lighten up, man! Maybe in your next life you'll came back as a dog

 

I don't know where you got that idea, Homer. I live with a Golden Retriever, three cats, and 2.5 teenage boys.

 

Of course I accepted, it was an act of love, I had no choice but to accept. I'm not rude you know.

Now, minstrel's hot dog story had nothing to do with love. He was a piggie and puked. LOL

 

And that was long before I discovered beer and poutine...

I'm just trying to keep this "dog" thread funny. If you want to know what's funny, pay attention to what teenage boys laugh at. They know humor.