Global Warming Fails Me Again...

Well, I have tried to stay optimistic about Global Warming despite year after year of utter disappointment and dismay at the winters here in New England. I have tried to do my part this summer: having open fire pits ablaze with petroleum-based and other polluting products, choosing plastic over paper at the grocery store, and having a big ole American gas guzzling car that I drive with abandon. Yet, I wake up this morning and the temperature is 15F/-9.4C degrees with a wind chill factor that makes it feel like 5F/-15C degrees. And, let me tell you, walking the dog this morning felt like all of that.

Here is this morning's U.S. chill map:



It gets worse. Part of my retirement planning requires that the oceans rise so that my coastal inland house becomes a much more expensive beachfront property. If this is going to happen in time to affect my retirement planning, it needs to start soon!

Well, at least I finished my last winterization project for the homestead when I filled up the gas can in anticipation of feeding it to the snowblower in the weeks ahead. At least I will be spewing a lot of fumes into the atmosphere with my over-sized Snowzilla machine so that maybe next year, my Global Warming dreams will come true.

 

Congratulations on actually getting your dog out of the house when it's that cold, my dog won't leave the house if there's any sign of a light drizzle or the temperature is below 10C..

 

My dog is a big, furry Golden Doodle who strongly prefers the cold weather. I have seen her happily go outside and sit in the snow for an hour or two. I sometimes think that she has Husky in her genes.

 

What wind chill factor? How many times should I tell you "move here and you won't have any issues"?

 

LOL...I honestly don't know why anyone lives in New England, myself included.

I may light a fire in the fireplace tonight to further pollute the atmosphere with wood smoke. Makes me feel like I am doing my part to promote Global Warming.

 

Ha ha ha. I had a good laugh today thanks to your amusing take on global warming.
I think there is one step you are missing. Methane output. Please make it a community affair to consume more methane producing food and fart your way to a warmer atmosphere.

 

Yes, I have heard that methane actually is a more effective greenhouse gas that CO2. Thanks for the reminder. I will ask my wife to serve us Boston Baked Beans tonight! If we give some to the dog, watch out! Temps may rise immediately!

 

You think it's cold where you are? Then try Canada....it's so cold here that just outside my window is a frozen rabbit suspended in mid air. Right behind him is a frozen coyote with it's mouth open! Yesterday I saw a dog with it's leg up, frozen to a fire hydrant!

 

I don't understand why we live in New England, but it is even more incomprehensible to me why anyone would live where it is actually colder than here. That includes Canada, Alaska, Siberia, etc. None of this makes any sense at all when there are so many warmer places. Obviously, I am missing something...

 

I'll admit that most times I can't find the time to do it, but when I get the time I love to downhill ski. It is like having wings.....exhilarating! When I'm flying down the slopes, that's when I'm so glad that I live here. Some sweet day I'll stop the chasing the almighty $$$ and ski my life away!

 

For me, the cold is a real problem. I do not have Raynauds disease, but my hands and feet are cold most days, including in the summer, and I do not enjoy it. Skiing would be pure torture for me, but I do understand that some people are built better for the cold and actually prefer it. My dog clearly does, anyway.

 

Oh, the pain. This year, I have sent multiple burnt offerings to the Global Warming gods, with many of them utilizing fossil fuels. I have verbally chastised Climate Change deniers and preached to them the clear benefits of Global Warming and why they should do everything they can to ensure that it happens. I have sent significant, unsolicited donations to the dirty coal industry and have set up my own personal fracking operation and tried to run an oil pipeline through my neighbors' backyards (hit some crazy objections from the Zoning Board on that one.) Yet, after all of this faithful pursuit of much-needed Global Warming, I come downstairs and look at the temperature this morning and it is 5F/-15C degrees! The wind is blowing really strongly and the weather people are saying that the wind chill makes it feel like -10F/-23C. And, folks, it is not even officially Winter here yet! It is still Fall (or Autumn, for those of you who remember a recent thread on that subject.) What more can I do? I am getting despondent.

 

Well, I hate to use four-letter words on DP, but I have no choice this morning. I woke up to SNOW on the ground. It is enough that I am going to have to fire up the snowblower when it stops later this afternoon. Global Warming, wherefore art thou Global Warming????

 

2017 is not looking good for Global Warming here in New England. I woke up to 12F/-11C degrees with a wind chill factor of 2F/-16.6C. And, we are under a snowstorm warning of 8 - 12 inches today and we also have a Gale warning this afternoon! I have dutifully worshipped at the altar of the EPA and its environmentalists, even lighting large, petroleum-fueled fires that produced billowing, black smoke this summer. I have my thermostat in the house cranked up well about normal room temperatures in a desperate attempt to burn more fossil fuels (not sure, but hopefully my power generators use dirty coal.) I have likewise driven my big ole gas-guzzling American car tens of thousands of miles this year, filling the large gas tank at least a couple of times per week. And this is what I get for my efforts???

What more can I do? Perhaps I can help NOAA and other climate monitoring organizations to further falsify their data as they seem to think that such activities will help Global Warming. I am open to all options in terms of accelerating Global Warming (note that I also really need the oceans to start rising soon or my dreams of beachfront property will be dashed, as well.)

 

1. We need more EVIL SUVs running non-stop. 2. Trump needs to fly his Trump and Air Force One jets as much as possible. 3. Most importantly cows. We need more cows to produce more methane.

** Not to rub it in, but we had rain yesterday and this am (a thunderstorm this am). It's going to cool down by Sunday ~ 50-60*F.

 

I will put my gas-guzzling Lincoln up against an SUV, any day. Though I would welcome their support. My teenage son is helping with the dairy cow situation in a big way. Not exaggerating, he drinks about a gallon of milk a day, though my wife and I help a little bit with the milk we use in our hot tea.

You won't be rubbing it in when the sea rises 250 feet and I have beachfront property and you are floating in a life raft down there in what used to be sunny FL.

Man, I went outside to get the paper and bring in the trash barrel and it feels much colder than the temperatures I listed above. When snow is coming (you can feel it in the air,) I think that the humidity picks up or something and the cold cuts through you much more viciously than usual. I am finishing my tea and then have to take the damn dog for a quick walk (funny, I did not want the dog...it was the wife and kids but I end up doing quite a bit of the caretaking of it.) Anyway, I have to break out the deep freeze clothing to do this walk. And when I get back to the house, I will still be chilled to the bone.

Global Warming, Global Warming, wherefore art thou Global Warming?!?

 

So, the outside thermometer is reading 8F/-13C and the weather man says that the wind chill makes it feel like -6F/-21C. We got about 8 inches of snow that will need to be cleared out of my driveway and sidewalk this morning so that we can get out when needed. A couple of my neighbors were out there late last night clearing out their driveways and it must have been just as cold or perhaps even colder.

My Global Warming induced beachfront property is looking to be farther and farther away from realization, though I want to remain optimistic. At least I will be spewing some solid carbon pollution into the atmosphere with the gas-fired snowblower this morning.

 

My efforts to bring on global warming may not be in vain. Though it was 17F/-8C degrees this morning, I had to take the dog for a brisk walk. On my way back down my street, I saw the following:



Note that the left side of the street has lawns that are free of snow, while the right side of the street features lawns covered in snow. Cynics might just point out that the left side of the street is facing south, so it gets the bulk of the day time sun and that is what melts away the snow. However, they would be sadly mistaken. It turns out the I live on the lefthand, south-facing side of the street and I am POSITIVE that this is a sign from the climate gods that they recognize and approve of my approach for speeding up global warming. All of the fossil fuels that I burned gratuitously last summer in my backyard are paying off and I now pledge to double the amount this summer. My silly neighbors across the street are missing the boat on this one and now I have proof. I expect that they will be speechless, again.

 

Thunder Snow! Yesterday, the global warming gods failed me again and we were hit with about a foot of snow. However, in the midst of the blizzard (truly white-out conditions for a while there) we heard the unmistakable sound of thunder for about 20 minutes. Due to the white out conditions, we did not see the lightning flashes, but the thunder was rolling quite loudly. This is only the second time in my lifetime that I have experienced thunder snow, as thunder/lightning storms are almost always warm weather events. Many years ago, I was driving home on a highway in the middle of another blizzard and saw a flash of lightning. Did not hear the thunder as I was in the car and it was quite some distance away, but it was a bit surreal, just like yesterday, only in reverse.

 

Ha-ha