Have you seen my monkey?

I thought with all of the bad news that has been all over the news it would be good for a much lighter article.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9127549/


The title is:

Can you imagine how many kids are out searching for a monkey in blue pants with a bucket of KFC?

I mean I love the fact that they dress this monkey in pants and give him KFC. The only thing that could have made this article better is if they said the monkey likes an occasional lite beer.

Seriously I do hope this guy gets his monkey back though.

 

Man I wish I had a monkey. I've always wanted one!

My wife said she'll kill me if I shave our cat.

 

On a lonely, stony beach somewhere under the armpit of Thailand I met a couple who'd rescued a baby monkey. I think the mother had been killed and this wee thing was dying on its own. This couple took it in and it was still very small when I saw it but it was strong as anything. Their dog hated it but was gentle by nature so just took it when this little devil swing off her tail.

The wife was less amused because the baby monkey swung all her clean clothing off the line and tore holes in all her clothes. But the husband was besotted. The baby monkey used to climb inside his shirt to sleep and the wife would have had murder in her eyes.

I'll bet somebody didn't survive that relationship but I won't put odds on which one bit the dust.

 

he's not in my bar...honest!

 

Dancing up and down in my hot skillet I left on to fry it with.

 

I wonder why the monkey doesn't have a shirt. That's perplexed me all day.

 

Thanks, but still a sad story to deal. I hope the trainor would find his lost partner.
My cousin once own a southeast asian breed monkey. They put him near their door way, so everytime I visit their them, I always make sure they take him out first before I enter the house.
BUhawi (the primate's name) is fucking violent to strangers.

 

Are monkeys edible?

 

You can eat anything ... once

 

Something tells me he is going to get a spanking when he is found...naughty monkey!

 

I spank my monkey often. It's necessary.

 

Do you also put blue pants on him before spanking him?

 

Beef Jerky Monkeys are edible. I told my gf one time I was really hungry and wished we had a monkey that was made out of beef jerky so I could just chase it down and take a big bite out of it. She said that she would mold the beef jerky into the shape of a monkey, but I told her it just wasn’t the same.

I wanted a real beef jerky monkey. I don’t want a monkey that would feel pain. I just want beef jerky in the shape of a monkey that runs around so I can catch it and eat it.

 

Here is the closest I could find:
http://www.blueiceonline.com/blueweb/araonapeeps/araona3.html

 

Yeah I tried to imitate the sounds of a beef jerky monkey all weekend and nothing happened. It probably thought I was going to roughly punish it like that other naughty monkey.

 

My monkey is usually covered in blue jeans. But for the full effect, I remove them before spanking the monkey.

 

Yeah but I bet you don't have a 2 ft 8 lb monkey like that guy though.

 

That would be hard to hide. I'm suprised it's lost!

 

Long story:

In the paper I saw that someone was selling a monkey, so I called. The answering machine stated that if we were looking for the monkey, it was gone. A while later I placed that on my answering machine. You have reached Natron, if you are looking for the monkey, it's already sold.

later that year
I sold an old car to some tweaker at about 7am, there was no natrual way this guy should have been awake. Later that week and various voicemails he finally got in touch with me again, he was really interested in hearing more about my pet monkey.

The story was his wife was in a wheel chair and he wanted to buy her a monkey for christmas. I tried not to laugh when telling him that I actually never owned a monkey, but I would be willing to show his wife my monkey

You welcome for wasting your time.

 

Dear God,
Please forgive them for taking a harmless little monkey's tale of woe and exploiting it for their own sick twisted amusement

Big Ups,
Spydie!