I can't talk to someone right now about this...

Hi guys! sorry for all the trouble but i can't quite focus on my work today because of this problem that i have... (just wanna share this out coz i don't have anyone to talk to right now about this... )

i have a band (well you probably know this already because of the pic that i always post) and we will be one year together next month. We have a gig tomorrow with our new bandmates (new members) but i feel like im not in the mood for that gig. i have this feeling that the band doesnt need me anymore since we have these two new members. The first new member is a guy and he is the drummer of our band right now. the second new band member is a girl and suppose to be, she is our rhythym/back-up vocalist. but everytime we have our practice, it seems that, and i feel that the new girl band member is doing what iam suppose to do (i'm the lead vocalist). i feel so left-out and i feel that they can survive now even without me. it really just hurts me alot because i have exerted huge time and effort for this band and stayed there for the band esp when we have this band line-up crisis (we really had this hard time setting up the final band members line-up since our bandmates don't stay with us). i feel like all the time and effort i have exerted for this band was just thrown away.

i feel like quitting right after this gig that we are having. and i feel like saying to them that i wanna quit because i think the band can now survive even without me unlike before that they can't even set up a practice without my go signal.

im sorry if my story's kinda mess up. i just don't feel like doing anything right now. i really love my band and i love having my band because this is my dream. but if im not happy with the way things are going on, then maybe i should just quit

what do you think guys?

 

It sounds like to me that its not that you feel like the band doesnt need you but that you dont like the idea that the band is taking on new members.

If the band was any good you would stay, if you like the band so much you would stay.

It really sounds like you love the power and not the band and now that you dont seem to have the power and your band members dont need your power then thats why you dont want to be there, if this is the case then leave and get your own band for the power but the same would happen again so that choice would be yours.

Also do you think the band is going to get anyware?

I would only be in a band that would get someware and not play around hope that they might, not like I am in a band but just saying

 

I think you're just a little bit jealous and negative, is she prettier than you ?
You told yourself you've been in the band for 1 year, they just can't work without you, the new band girl, who does the same stuff as you do, doesn't mean anything to the band right now, she is just trying her best so that she can replaces you.
Perhaps its time for you to kick some ass with your talent dont you think? Keep doing what you like!

And do not do that :

Do you have a picture of the girl in question ?

 

you said its your dream.....so why giving up?
you should fight for it and hold on to your dreams.....

if you really love this band of yours...i dont think that quitting is the solution to your problem. Whre's you love and dedication then?

You should stay if loosing your band will break the heart of you.
Show them who you are and what you are to the group.
Dont let new member's pull you down.....

If you quit right now...it's your loss...not theirs.

 

Or if you quit, make them feel like they loose something. If you are spiteful its time to act

 

well yeah i would be arrogant and liar if i will not say that i don't love the power that i had with the band... before, since i'm the vocalist they always ask for my opinion (songs to perform, gigs and bars to jam, studio to practice, date of the practice, etc.) but now, seems like they doesn't care what the hell i think. if im with them, they're ok with that. if im not with them, they deosnt care. not unike before, im not with them, they'll look for me. if im with them, then the band is complete...

right now it seems like the band is still complete even with or without me. maybe im just missing the attention that they gave to me...

 

jealous and negativety... thats was occured my life with two times when i was in my school....

 

take it easy and dont take it too personal. im sure when you welcome them with open arms im sure you'll feel that you're still a part of you band. dont worry to much on who's the leader of the band... think about how to be with the band... playing with a band will be successful if you play together and there will harmony... taking it too personal will just make your dream and efforts put to waste... be positive!

 

she is younger than me i should say... prettier? im not pretty (see the avatar for reference... LOL) i know she's trying her best and i understand that (this is her first band i think).

what hurts me is the fact that i know that the band can exist now even without me not unlike before...

 

but what if staying with the band will also break my heart?

 

im not jealous with the girl (just wanna make the record straight...) its just that i dont feel that they need me anymore.

why stay if you feel that they can survive even without you right?

 

this really struck me...thanks

 

You have to settle it with your band. Talk it over

If they would be having a new member, well its OK
But don't ever quit the band. That's your dream.

Prove them that you're still the trade mark of the band.

Maybe you can have new melodies with that new girl.




Don't give up dude

Cheers up.

 

Thats cute , but not real! They need you somehow, they didn't say:
" You're useless, please go away "

And i believe that you're pretty

 

thanks... you made me feel somehow at ease...

 

you made me smile... thanks for that. i really appreciate it...

oh and im not pretty... but thanks for the compliment though...

 

Dear gUrLaLiEn:

I can understand how you are feeling right now, its not that you love power or you are jealous as few members said above....

I really understands how it feel when the friends or group in which you sepnt most of your time behaving like this the you have no IMPORTANCE anymore or your friends dont need you! I can also understand that you tried to give you most to your Band!

Look... face some FACTS, the band needs a vocalist... not you!!! now what should you de then???

- Try to make your self DIFFRENT from other... i am sure you do have some qualities which others may not have, try to focus on what you have SPECIAL!

- Mantain your SELF CONFIDENCE, dont show that you are nothing without the band, show that BAND IS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU!

- In many satuations when we see that someone else is taking our place we normely GIVEUP but thats not right, you are a senior member of your BAND and you do have AUTHORITY!!! dont let anyone take your place... remeber you are what you are, you know your BAND much much much more then new members known...

- DONT try to step back or try to quit the band..... trsut me at this moment if you try to leave then this will not show your importance.... INSTED... try to take a leave for ONE DAY.... and see how did your band done without you! but remeber just ONE DAY!

What i am trying to say all above is that DONT LOSE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE! gUrLaLiEn your band is GOOD becoz of you! yes becoz of you!

Calm your self, take a chill glass of water and enjoy!!!

i wish you all the succec!

Please dont mind if something i said you did'nt like.... i just tried to help as a friend

Best wishes and take care!
Rage

 

Hi rage!

Thanks for your advice. I was just struck or rather confuse when you said:

im the vocalist of the band... i mean im the original vocalist and still the vocalist. the girl that i've been talking about (the new member) is supposedly our rhythm guitarist/back-up vocalist

but thanks really for your advice i will remember that

 

yes gUrLaLiEn! thats the spirit...

the quot you mentioned,i said that bcoz i need to burn on the fire inside you that will make you self think about your QUALITIES, your SPECIALITY!
you said they dont need you, how can you say this.... dont forget your qualities dear... YOUR BAND NEEDS YOU!

i hope you understand what i am trying to say...

TakeCare...
Rage

 

oh... now i get it.. thanks for that... i really appreciate your advice..