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I think I need a divorce.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Roman, Jan 29, 2006.

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  1. #1
    Me: Honey, can you make me dinner?
    Wife: No!

    Me: Honey, can you get me a beer?
    Wife: No!

    Me: Honey, can you pass the toilet paper?
    Wife: No!

    Me: Honey, can we have s3x?
    Wife: No!

    Wife: Honey, can I have some me?
    Me: No!

    Wife: Honey, can you take me shopping?
    Me: No!

    Wife: Honey, can you cuddle me?
    Me: No!

    Wife: Honey, do I look fat in this dress?
    Me: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

    As you can see my wife and I don't see eye to eye and on top of that I have a black eye.
     
    Roman, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  2. dougyt

    dougyt Peon

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    #2
    I seem to get a lot of wife problems too, recently she asked "what's on TV?"
    I replied "dust"
    And an argument ensued, and women say they value honesty huh?
     
    dougyt, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  3. Roman

    Roman Buffalo Tamer™

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    #3

    LOL, it's blind honesty.

    Her: What's on TV?

    You: I'll turn it off honey, because you are the only thing that can turn me on, no one is as beautiful as you are, those actresses can't even hold a candle to you, you are my movie star.
     
    Roman, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  4. itsme

    itsme Well-Known Member

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    #4
    Wow guys sorry to hear about your luck... I myself am so happy with married life that I'm seriously considering one more wife! ;)

    (yah right...)
     
    itsme, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  5. Roman

    Roman Buffalo Tamer™

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    #5
    I'd be happy with one more wife too, but my wife won't let me.
     
    Roman, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  6. Dekker

    Dekker Peon

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    #6
    i'm in a happy monogamous relationship. only problem is we're like a thousand miles away because of school. so it really sucks
     
    Dekker, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  7. uca

    uca Well-Known Member

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    #7
    get married and maybe one of those 3 words will have to change...;)
     
    uca, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  8. itsme

    itsme Well-Known Member

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    #8
    ...but wouldn't it be great if women knew how to share their husbands with their best friends... I think this just proves that women are selfish! ;)

    I'm going to stop contributing to this thread before I get in trouble! :D
     
    itsme, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  9. MELLA

    MELLA Peon

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    #9
    Ahah!

    I wish I was married. I think it would be great. :eek:
     
    MELLA, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  10. vatsia

    vatsia Guest

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    #10
    I am happy married too. Whoever has trouble should consider some flowers or a romantic trip;)
     
    vatsia, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  11. Nanofied

    Nanofied Guest

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    #11
    ... Sounds like you got a real nice wife lmao

    IF you go for the divorce, watch she dont screw you over though :)
     
    Nanofied, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  12. Blogmaster

    Blogmaster Blood Type Dating Affiliate Manager

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    #12
    I don't think any of those things are reason enough to get a divorce. I mean, are you guys totally miserable? Then I would say yes, consider it.
     
    Blogmaster, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  13. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #13
    But that just raises another question: Should you invite your wife/husband to accompany you on the trip? :eek:
     
    minstrel, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  14. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #14
    You could have had compar but you turned him down... :eek:
     
    minstrel, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  15. Nanofied

    Nanofied Guest

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    #15
    Bah... Why get married anyways? You can still have love, s3x, and kids without it. Just think... You could have like 6 women this way :).
     
    Nanofied, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  16. Roman

    Roman Buffalo Tamer™

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    #16
    Roman, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  17. irka

    irka Well-Known Member

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    #17
    Who doesnt need a divorce is a fool ! sorry im not even married yet :D. But i have a cute girlfriend and sometimes its AAHHH lol
     
    irka, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  18. emil2k

    emil2k Well-Known Member

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    #18
    Thats fucking hilarious, dude :D
     
    emil2k, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  19. irka

    irka Well-Known Member

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    #19
    lol i agree. And what would you answer if she asks you " Whats in the fridge ? ".
     
    irka, Jan 29, 2006 IP
  20. mcfox

    mcfox Wind Maker

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    #20
    I've already taught my son 'survival tips'.

    He knows how to answer the following types of questions, er, truthfully:

    Woman: Does my bum look big in this?
    Honest Answer: It's your bum? I thought an eclipse was underway!
    Survival Tip: No, not at all.

    Woman: Do I look fat in this?
    Honest Answer: Yes, of course you do! Geeze, some parts of you have their own weather systems for goodness sakes!
    Survival Tip: No. You're not fat.

    Woman: Do you like my hair?
    Honest Answer: Huh? I thought it was a dead squirrel.
    Survival Tip: Yes! It's lovely. It really suits you.

    Woman: Do you like my makeup?
    Honest Answer: Yes. If you're planning on walking the streets trying to turn a few tricks.
    Survival Tip: Yes. It really brings out your eyes.

    Woman: Do you like my new outfit?
    Honest Answer: You paid money for that?
    Survival Tip: Yes, it's very nice. It really suits you.
     
    mcfox, Jan 29, 2006 IP
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