I Think We're Alone Now

A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?"

"What! Are you crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend.

"No! Someone might see us..."

"It's just a small blowjob," he insists, "and I know you like it."

"No! I said no!"

"Baby... don't be like that."

"Come on baby pleeeeaassseee"

"I'm not going to give you a blow job"

"Why Not...baby it will be quick I promise?"

Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."

Guess my Age

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, 'I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?' 'About 35,' was the reply. 'I'm actually 47,' the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, 'Oh, you look about 29.' 'I am actually 47!' she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, 'I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age. 'There was no one around, so the woman said, 'What the hell?' and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, 'OK, You are 47.'Stunned, the woman said, 'That was brilliant! How did you do that?' The old man replied, 'I was behind you in line at McDonalds.'

 

Please! You don't need to start a new thread for every joke you find.

Here's the official DP jokes thread:
http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?t=21828

 

I guess when 'red' one would try all tricks up his sleeve to gain some credibility

 

I thought this was going to be a thread about Tiffany. Unfortunately it's yet another cut and paste joke thread.


I think we're alone now,
There does't seem to be anyone around.

 

the funny it tis

 

Great, another one! ^

 

lol I thought the exact same thing

 

lol...the first one was funny though

 

I have a joke:

A guy gets red repped so he starts 100 single joke threads with old jokes. He keeps posting. Finally, a dp memember says, "Post them all in one place or get your hand off the reply button."

 

I think I saw a clip about that first joke. Bullshit, I will never get close to that house again if that happens to me. LOL