My friend asked out this girl, what does her response mean?

Hi guys, I'll be asking this question for a friend of mine.

So there's this girl who he met about 9 months ago. The first two times they talked to each other, in the library, for about 2 hours each, they had really good conversations and hit it off really well. After those 2 times, they occasionally run into each other, but not often, sometimes out on the street, and at 2 student organization socials. The few times they had a chance to talk each other, they start off the conversation ok and then she becomes incredibly awkward. He figured it's most likely because she either suspects he like her or she likes him back.

But, he was too much of a coward and backed out of asking her out each of those times.

So anyways, when he ran into her again on the streets yesterday, he finally was able to muster enough courage to ask her out for coffee. She told him that she studies often at the cafe near where she lives and that he's always welcome to drop by and chat.

He knows that he moved waaaay too slowly and he was a real coward the past few months trying to ask her out. He knows he better not repeat this mistake again for future girls.

But for now, how should he interpret her response? If she really wanted to reject him, she could've said she was busy studying for finals or whatever. Why would she give him the location of where he can find her often? But then again, could her response be an implicit rejection? It's possible she studies at the cafe often, but that may not be the only place she studies and now, she'll know to avoid that particular cafe to avoid seeing him in case he goes there. Maybe that was her way of coming up on the spot the gentlest way to turn him down. They never ran into each other at the cafe before, but that's because he ever only visited there twice before and only quickly grabbed something to go.

What do you think her response more likely is. A maybe, or a no to my friend?

 

My interpretation would be that she has opened the door to beginning a relationship, but slowly to start. She offered to meet as friends might do, not as romantically interested people would do on a date. Why she took this approach could be from a variety of reasons: perhaps she has just come off a bad romantic relationship, perhaps she is very shy, herself, or perhaps she does not (right now) see your friend as a romantic possibility due to the lack of interest he has shown over the past months, though that could change as she gets to know him better. Bottomline: since he is still interested and she did not completely shut him down, he should take her up on her offer and start showing up there, himself, to study, etc. Many romantic relationships start off as casual friendships like this.

By the way, I recall a very similar post (likely from your friend) on DP a while back and I am glad that he at least took the step of asking her to go for coffee. Now he needs to follow up on the small bit of progress that his approach made. Of course, if they do connect at the café, he needs to "slow roll" things and not try to accelerate the relationship too quickly. Get to know her and let her learn about him on a casual basis and see if things pick up from there.

 

I have a different take on this. The paragraph above tells me she doesn't really care about the guy romantically. She tries to fit him into her routine schedule which means she's not interested in him. At least that how it appears to me.

And that whole history of "him being a coward". I don't know what it's all about but when romantic "juices" are flowing both ways everything usually works out just fine. It's when one party is not interested that all those confusing moments tend to happen.

 

That is not a rejection. It is a coy suggestion to "come and see me sometime". Like when a woman gives a man her phone number but does not ask for his.

 

Guys, me included, always think about romance too soon. That is a mistake, unless you want that romance to go away too soon, too. If I ever made it back to the past, like 25 years back, I would have started it all as a friendship.

 

Sorry, I don't think she is that interested. Your mate needs to find out for sure by saying where he is going to go and would she like to join him? He should then state a time/day and a conveniant place to avoid confusion. If she is coy at all then she isn't that interested. I know this as a girl. If someone I fancied asked me out for a coffee, I would not leave it up to chance that we might meet in some random place!
Girls don't often make the first move (unless we are pissed lol) but if a guy we fancy does, you can bet we will let him know we are keen !!
Good luck to your friend xx

 

Exactly! I've had to agree as well, being a girl..of course!

 

So is this a rejection, or should he ask her out again but with more details like when/where all that?

 

That is interesting. Because there were a few times when women gave me their phone numbers when I did not ask for it, when they were the ones who initiated conversations with me. As I did not ask for their numbers, they must have been interested but they kind of left it up to chance that I would call.

Some females are more aggressive than others. Some will ask a guy out on a date directly and others will flirt, hint, and do everything except directly ask a guy out. It is a coward's way of them making the first move without actually making it and risking rejection. It is silly if you ask me.

On another topic, there are women out there who will flirt heavily with a guy and give all the signs of being interested and reject him when he asks her out on a date. That would be an interesting thing for women to chime in on. Because I have had it happen to me as have other guys I've known. It is almost as if it is a game where the woman tries to get a man interested just so she can reject him.