Negligence caused my mother's untimely death...

My mum sadly passed away earlier this month, on the 9th. She was 69. That was also my sister's birthday.

I have two sisters with the same birthday, but my older sister was born in 1982. My other (youngest) sister was born in 1989. And we have an older sister as well.

Anyway, my mother had been receiving hemodialysis for the past year and a half, leading up to her death. She suffered from kidney failure, COPD, and had then began having strokes, followed by seizures in recent months. That was caused by her blood sugar levels not being stable. Her stomach pain had been chronic too.

So she was also receiving fentanyl due to the discovery of a large abdominal aortic aneurysm. This couldn't be operated on, you see, so that was the whole point of being prescribed the pain medication. To basically provide adequate relief from the discomfort she was going through. However, she continued to smoke cigarettes.

Unfortunately, after she attended a hospice for what my mum believed was some respite, the staff there didn't treat her too good. I believe they said something to alarm her, like how she should just stop her dialysis, so she packed her things and took off back home.

Anyway, her lines were removed, which I suspect caused a serious chest infection. Even the police felt that was odd. Her frail state meant that, according to the NHS, she wouldn't be able to get her dialysis. They also signed a red form to get it completely stopped, but my sister reckons the hospice nor the infirmary had no authority to do this. I know she had previously signed a 'Do Not Resuscitate' order, but I don't believe that was in any way relevant to her weekly dialysis, which she had to receive three times.

So I came down one day about a week before she died. She was laying on the sofa, complaining of feeling weak. I asked her if she remembered to place bids on flats for me, as she had my details to view the council properties. She said she would do this. That was the last time I spoke to her. My sister seemed to be in a rather cranky mood, so I left.

I got a text a day or so later, saying my mum had been overdosed by different nurses one after the other, with notes left in a log book, according to the paramedics, as they checked her blood. They said to my sister they would not be getting involved.

In the hospital, they didn't even bother draining a lot of excess fluid that had gathered up in her lungs. She was in hospital for at least a week. So she was basically panting in bed and wasn't moving, or really able to speak or open her eyes. It looked as if she was wasting away.

I asked a male nurse on this ward if she could get the dialysis if there was any improvement, and he said yes. I then went outside to get a reception on my mobile, and this is when he said something totally different to my sister, who is far from happy about this.

Just before she died on the morning of 9 September, she brought up a lot of red liquid. Likely a combination of bacteria and blood that was left to accumulate. Then she died right thereafter.

What gets me, is how come they never drained the fluid? That probably caused pulmonary distress. Or whatever the correct term for that is called. I don't really know about medical terms, but I do use Google.

Just feels awfully like a case of medical negligence to me, and my sister has contacted a legal firm in regards to preparing a lawsuit. To make it more suspicious, nurses have been at my family's house, repeatedly thumping on the door. They're after that orange book.

The NHS in the UK today is a disgrace. But that's an understatement.

Edited for a few spelling errors.

 

It was done in her chest...

Our mum seemed confused, and told us the fluid "would be drained at dialysis." My sister seemed concerned that nothing had changed between her appointments, meaning it's apparent they didn't intervene to help. That the nurses in the hospital were pressuring her to end her dialysis and die in the hospice, suggests they just no longer wanted to give her any treatment. It all just feels suspicious.

I mean, I suspect they detected her aneurysm had worsened, but then if fluid was able to build up in her body, this could have caused the stomach to bulge out and make the aneurysm become close to rupturing. But this is just speculation on my part.

Had they stuck a needle in her, they could have successfully treated her predicament through draining the poison. I don't know. But she was kind of stubborn in regards to her smoking habit; I was always worried that she would end up like my grandmother, as her chain smoking was associated with blocked arteries, was diagnosed with dementia prior to going into a retirement home, and then she developed a form of cancer. This proved fatal in the summer of 2004.

My sister told me about a law firm she recently contacted, which she found out about through the funeral parlour assistant who has been preparing the memorial service for our mum. It is scheduled for next Wednesday.

I never did trust social care. I experienced first hand what they are like, because I had support workers years ago, but they weren't even qualified when it comes to supporting clients with ASD.

Basically, I was looking for this ex of mine around the time I started a college course. So back then, I posted about her on Gumtree, right as my support began. Then this idiotic older man who worked with me, started sending me crap from the adverts, despite working for Autism Initiatives in Edinburgh in a caregiver position. Already a massive red flag that these care providers were gonna be bad news.

My original key worker was explaining to him about how I was seeking her out. But I am talking 2008 here. So it was quite a number of years ago.

Apart from mentioning stuff about her schools, he was talking about a pro wrestler called Eddie Guerrero. I assume he seen something I posted online. But this wrestler died a long time ago. He essentially started to mock me in the emails I received, and he slipped up once by saying something to me in person.

He was talking about bands from the eighties and saying I should shake off my mortal coil while listening to specific tracks of theirs. I didn't know what he was referring to, exactly. So I looked it up. It's seemingly got something to do with one deciding to commit suicide. So I told the people on the forum Wrong Planet about this harassment, and they really didn't know what to think of the abuse I was suffering from.

I actually got back with that woman in 2012. And Jesus. She was certainly annoying. Because I got her an iPod and other stuff, but she basically just took me for a ride. Then she lied about this, this and this, for months. It's a wonder I didn't have a nervous breakdown with the way she was carrying on. The way she behaved was just nothing short of bizarre. But ultimately, she was just a money grabber like many women are, unfortunately.

Yeah. I should be over it by now. Even my mother knew they were being ridiculous by removing a few female workers, then telling lies. But I always felt disturbed by that guy's unprofessional antics.

That he used a nickname and then kind of admitted to being the one emailing me this garbage for about 2 years, is pretty low. It was like he did it deliberately, to make a game of it. His excuse though, was that he was trying to help me.

The problem is, these care companies or whatever just do not have new recruits going through the proper "vetting" procedure. They basically know a lot of people don't particularly enjoy doing this type of work, but it's still a way to earn money at the end of the day. So they hire these morons on the fly, that just mess you around.

I didn't pay them directly either. However, I was giving a sort of grant through social services, so I reckon that I technically was in charge of my support plan, meaning I could ditch their asses at any time if I considered the help to not be appropriate. However, it was never exactly made clear how I could set about achieving that. It was all Greek to me, to be honest. But it is what it is.

Regards, from thesaunderschild.

 

That's a shame. Your mother was quite the fighter by the sound of it.

I told my mum how much I liked the look of New Zealand. But my agoraphobia prevents me from travelling overseas. I always play music from there, like DD Smash. My mum actually lived in Australia for about 2 years in the 60s.

I don't know anything about what my mother did, as she kept that to herself. I will miss her company, as we liked going to the mall on Mondays and seeing what was in the stores.

My sister's one regret is that she didn't get her kids back because of social workers. It would have just been too complicated to pursue court action.