Police Wack Snow Penis

haaahahhahahahah

New Windsor - What, some might ask Jessica Sherer, is with the giant snow penis she built on her boyfriend's lawn this week?

As everyone knows, phallic displays were central to Viking winter solstice celebrations of fertility and rebirth. Yeah. So what.

And readers of this paper surely know that phallic rituals were as much a part of the Hopi Indian winter festivals as the Hawk dance.

But down on Quassaick Avenue, around the corner from the New Windsor Elementary School, the 6-foot tall, anatomically correct, finely detailed penis raised some questions Monday.

Especially for police.

"We got some calls that people thought it was offensive," said New Windsor police Chief Michael Biasotti. "We assumed it was some kids who did it."

Officers found no one home. Assuming the snow sculpture was more prank than nod to Christmas' pagan roots, the police knocked it down. Beat it down with shovels, actually.

"We came back around 11 in the morning, and it was just a pile of snow," recalled Sherer, 19. "Just some shovel marks."

Sherer, um, erected the statue with her boyfriend and another friend Sunday. She said she was surprised to hear some neighbors took offense.

Motorists honked their approval, and people walking by pointed and laughed, she said.

"People were waving and laughing," she said. "It was pretty funny."

No citations or criminal violations will be issued for the display, Biasotti said. The town codes prohibit lewd signs on businesses, but don't mention anything about public snow sculptures.

"We probably weren't 100 percent correct in going on the property and knocking it down," New Windsor Town Supervisor George Meyers said. "But our intentions were pure. Some people were offended. There are school buses going by there all day."

The last two nights of freezing weather has made the snow too stiff to sculpt, said Sherer. But she intends to rebuild.

"In a couple of days, Thursday or Friday, after it gets a little warmer," she promises.

Police and town officials aren't sure what their move will be.

"I'd want the police to talk to the property owner if we got complaints, ask them to take it down" Meyers said. "But after that, I don't think there's too much we can do."

Biasotti worries the display might give others ideas. "Now we're going to get snow penises popping up all over town," he said.

Many scholars, of course, trace the origin of the modern-day yule log to ancient pagan totems to virility and sun-god worship. Is that what Sherer was going for?

"We just did it because we were really bored, and we thought it'd be funny," she said. "It was huge."

http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2005/12/14/sn.html

 

Studies have shown that when couples erect a giant penis together + with one more girl that it brings them closer together. At least it does with me, my girlfriend and my giant penis.

 

Thanks for that SVZ, I needed a good laugh.

You still have yet to prove this my friend.

 

Ok me and my girlfriend will take a trip up to Canada to visit you then.

 

Great. You must be so happy then?

 

Be careful how you handle him and not soften that joy.

 

Oh my, a huge yule-log because they were bored? The world's population is well over 6,000,000,000 now .... how much from boredom?

 

They should have called it a priceless work of art and billed thir police.

 

Some people really do have too much time on their hands.