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The Dating World is SO Painful

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ben2974, Jul 31, 2023.

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  1. #1
    I was gonna write a bunch of stuff detailing my experiences, but I figured it might not be taken kindly by others. Really, I just wanna express my absolute frustration with dating as a straight male, recently turned 30. I've been in two relationships in 18 months (8 months each, with a break) and learned life is so much better with a companion.

    What are your guys' thoughts on companionship - isn't it worth it??

    On that note, it's so incredibly frustrating how flaky and mercurial people are in the dating world. And those who are under 25-26 years old don't know how or refuse to hold conversations, accept date proposals, and/or actually meet. Why match, send a five-word response, and then disappear? This complaint applies to all ages honestly, but it's extremely prevalent in the aforementioned age group. It's also bonkers when the match proposes to go on a date in a week's time frame, and then just ghosts a day or two in advance when the date is imminent.

    Is this the gist of most peoples' experiences? If so, why do you think that is? I live on the East Coast btw, and using Hinge almost exclusively. People are generally more responsive and serious on this app. And yet, the same frustrating behaviors persist...

    Edit: want to make it clear that i'm not searching specifically for dates under 26 years of age. My range if 23-30. What i'm saying here is that matches 23-26 yo, compared to 27-30, are so much more unlikely to go anywhere.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2023
    ben2974, Jul 31, 2023 IP
  2. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #2
    By East Coast I'm guessing you mean the US?

    I follow a couple of subreddits that get a lot of dating stories from a woman's perspective and I can't believe the crap that men dish out - cold comfort, but it goes both ways.

    I don't approve of testing relationships, it's a bit like ultimatums, you might not like the outcome but... if I was young and dating I'd be throwing a couple out there.
    1. Is he the kind of guy who can't take a "no"? reject his choice of venue, or change the date - does he lose his shit or is he accommodating?
      I've been astounded by the diatribes that get unleashed. Bullet dodged.
    2. Throw some political discussions out there, just subtly, but see what the reaction is.
      Sadly some men have learnt to lie until the relationship is established and then fess up
    The first might be what you're experiencing. Check how you react to the change in plans. Some might be genuine, I'm great at entering things into my calendar, but crap at checking it first or on the day so I stuff up a lot. It's fun having ADHD :rolleyes:


    ref:
    r/TrollXChromosomes
    r/NotHowGirlsWork
     
    sarahk, Jul 31, 2023 IP
  3. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #3
    You need to find either a hobby or a volunteer opportunity in which there are a lot of other folks your age (would it be unacceptable for the woman to be 31 or 32?) If you find a like-minded potential companion there, you will at least have a shared interest to get started with.
     
    jrbiz, Aug 4, 2023 IP
    sarahk likes this.
  4. Spartan14

    Spartan14 Well-Known Member

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    #4
    My man stop using dating apps ,etc .Be a man and go outside in an area where you can meet women
    Next make the purpose to speak with 10 womens every day ,its not important to speak with them to seduce them ,instead focus on just speaking with them
    You wikll see you will get more confidence in you ,and some girls will laugh at you and other will get the discusion to a seducing one and who knows what can happen .Just try and see
     
    Spartan14, Aug 6, 2023 IP
  5. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #5
    And talk to women you don't want to date, just get used to how to interact nicely.
     
    sarahk, Aug 6, 2023 IP
  6. William Afton

    William Afton Well-Known Member

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    #6
    Yeah. It's just pish. Carrot dangling, so to speak.

    On certain ones, you get lured with spam emails saying somebody likes your profile. Go see.

    Nah. It's just a scam. They're not even active users when you sign in to look, which indicates it's bait to get you to take up the premium service.
     
    William Afton, Aug 18, 2023 IP
    sarahk likes this.