The Life Hacks I used to get disciplined, change my life and change my identity…

As we approach the end of another year and having had some time to reflect, it seemed appropriate to write a story of my own personal change and how I did it.

From the self sabotaging drug abuser with no direction or goals in life to having the sh*t absolutely kicked out of me (but winning) a kickboxing competition and starting a business.

I wanted to share the story and the techniques, tools and resources I used to help me make this transition. You can use them too.

SO, HOW DID THIS ALL HAPPEN?

Well, before I share this with you, I wanted to give you an idea of the sheer scale of the changes that took place.

I used these techniques to STOP ME

• smoking
  
  
• drinking alcohol
  
  
• taking drugs (cocaine, etc)
  
  
• watching porn

I also used these techniques to HELP ME

• enter a kickboxing competition
  
  
• start practicing sexual transmutation (NoFap)
  
  
• start meditating as a twice daily ritual
  
  
• discover my passion
  
  
• eat more healthy
  
  
• change career and start a business
  
  
• start running consistently and compete in Tough Mudders
  
  
• take cold showers (they improve your immune system, help improve self esteem and help develop emotional resilience)
  

I also taught myself to do this just for fun...





ONCE I EXPERIENCED CHANGE, I REALISED I HAD PRECONCEIVED ASSUMPTIONS OF WHO I WAS AND WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF...

Through this journey, I came to the realisation that our identity is NOT formed by our experiences themselves but how we choose to interpret those experiences and how we choose to respond to them.

We have all formed our own identities based on our own opinion of who we THINK we are.

We will often say things like ‘that’s not me’ or ‘I could never do that’ before we even try something.

In some cases this is no bad thing. But as a result, we also put limitations on ourselves and what we can actually do with our lives.

The first few techniques that started this all off for me were a series of questions:

• If I could model myself on anyone, who would it be?
  
  
• What kind of things would I need to do in order to be like that person?
  
  
• What kind of things would I need to think in order to be like that person?
  
  
• If I could do one totally outrageous but really cool thing (that might scare me) what would it be? How might I feel afterwards?
  
  
• If I had more courage, what would I do?
  
  
• If I had more courage, how would I earn a living?

When I came up with the answers my immediate feeling was apprehension and fear.

“I could never do these things” I thought to myself.

Then I realised I needed to stop thinking and start taking action.

“Just make the f*cking commitment and you’ll work out solutions along the way” I said.

I realised that a lot of the time fear and barriers are just an illusion.

Our mind plays tricks on us. When you go ahead and do these things, you realise that they are not as bad as initially anticipated.

The more I practiced doing this, the more I have started to develop a fear of being too comfortable.

I realised that too much comfort was an indication I was not making progress, that I was not growing, learning and developing.

I therefore sought out uncomfortable or challenging situations.

IT WAS THROUGH ASKING THE QUESTIONS ABOVE THAT I ENTERED A KICKBOXING FIGHT. I GOT THE SH*T KICKED OUT OF ME..

But I still won it.

After the fight, I went home physically and emotionally drained.

It was strange. The whole thing didn’t seem real. It seemed like a dream. Did I really just do that?

I cried.

I cried not because I had a back eye, bust lip and bleeding nose or because I had a headache (it lasted three days), but because I came to this profound realisation.

I was not who I thought I was.

I was so much more than this self sabotaging drug abuser who had no direction.

It was at that point that this window of opportunity opened...




(This photo was taken about two weeks after the fight.)


NOW THAT I HAD DONE THAT, WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?

I realised I needed to snap out of all these preconceived assumptions of my identity.

I became more open minded.

Like an artist with a blank canvas, I was free to paint. The blank canvas was my life.

I got some flip chart paper out, did a SWOT analysis on my life and developed a value system of how I wanted to show up in life.

I then started to redesign who I was..

• What did I want to stand for?
  
  
• How did I want to be perceived by others?
  
  
• What kind of values and traits would I need to have?
  
  
• What activities or behaviours could I take up to help me develop into this person?

Over time, I started to feel different and think differently. It was kinda strange but f*cking awesome.


It fascinated me. I began studying psychology and neuroscience to understand what had happened.

Through reading I realised that the setup of my nervous system had changed. My body and personality had adapted as I exposed myself to different experiences.

After the fight, I also wanted to find out and understand more about all the conflicting emotions and thoughts I experienced.

I had a habit of internalising my emotions, of identifying with them and saying “this is me, this is a fact”.

I came to the realisation that our emotions are a survival mechanism. They serve a purpose.

They are there to tell us something. Is is up to us to ask questions about what they are trying to tell us about our decision making, lifestyle or situation.

I discovered some techniques and resources which helped equip me with what I needed to make even more changes in my life.

One book I really recommend for anyone who wants help to change is a book called Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.

Don’t get put off the title, it’s actually really easy to read, It is practical and there are very simple exercises you can work through.

Since this journey, I came to the realisation that, given the changes I experienced, it was my duty to share this story, the tools and resources with anyone who was looking to make changes in their life.

I look back at who I was and thought to myself there must be others feeling the same way so I put together some short video tutorials with the different tips / techniques that I used. I also put together a range of free resources and practical exercises which I designed to help rewire my brain and change my mindset which anyone can use for free.

You don’t necessarily have to be in the self destructive / self sabotaging situation I was in, they can be used by absolutely anyone looking to get to the next level in their life (whether personally or professionally).

I wish you a great festive season and success with the changes you wish to see in your life.

Wishing you health, success and happiness in your journey.

Olivier x

 

Sorry the pictures came out huge...