Worrying About the Future & "What Ifs" Too Much

Hello Everyone,

I've been having some rough problems lately and was wanting to get your opnion on this...

I've been doing websites since I was 13 and I recently just turned 20. I launched a web design company a few months ago and it's been going okay, ever since then I've been worrying about if it will succeed and if I'll be able to make a career out of it in which I want to do badly. I worry so much that it stops me from delivering my potential, for example some days I feel like not even working at all. This has also made me worry about other things such as if I'll ever make it on my own by owning a house or even having a family in the future. I get short breathe from all of this in which I read is part of anxiety.

Overall, I just get overwhelmed by thinking about the future and it stops me from actually living my life, I feel I have to lock myself in a room and work work work to make it through life and not enjoy things I want to do.

Any ideas on how to help this worrying stop? Maybe I'm just trying to do too much at my age?

Thanks!
Scott

 

Hi fellow, im in the same position. I've 19 years old and im going on my 20. I'm doing my website and i hope i'll make business over the internet in the future, my website just to learn.
I started to do my website 2 months ago. The first month i had no idea for hte design and the content, nothing!! So i stopped... I felt so bad i really thought i wouldnt be able to do that.

And one day i was i dont know kind of euphoria, and i started doing the design, it was nice and it made me want to do more and more and more... For me its my new passion i dont know for your opinion but,

on thing for sure is, its not because of your age that youre going to become successful or a loser. Its because of your potential and capacity to strive in what you do, the motivation is more important than well being in some circumstances. But after a while you really feel like a king because you climbed up the mountain

Keep going on the good work. Worrying? Forget it

 

hey fellow, you're not 13, you're 20!
You're too old to worry now, go make some money with your company!

 

He is right , youre not 13 its over that time man

 

Well said dude. Think of those positive things instead that could help you solve your problems.

 

Hi Scott,

Being around the same age - I'm 22 - I believe I can offer some advice.

Let's be honest here:

Remember we aren't men yet

We're young and believe me, a few years here and there at this age makes a huge difference to how we view the world and how we approach work, especially in our attitudes.

Also..

I find my moods and feelings change often - from day to day, even hour to hour or minute to minute. Our minds are not that stable, right? Who cares, we're young. Our minds are still growing and adapting to this soon to be upon us adult-world.

I wouldn't worry about how you are now being the YOU in the future.

(Heck, I didn't even learn or take any interest in cooking until 3 months ago, when I decided it would be quite neat to know how to cook, especially if I'll be moving out soon. Now I can cook better then my parents, but it's a tool for 'life' and I took an interest in it for a reason, sub-consciously perhaps)

This shit happens as you grow. You work out what's important and it happens naturally. Work becomes more tolerable as your mind accepts it, etc.

You don't want kids right now, right? Therfore your mind isn't on that level. Forget worrying about them. When you're ready for kids, you will be an entirely different guy with a ton more life experience and skills then you have now.. that's if you don't knock some girl up for the next 5 years.

My tip is to find a starting point to focus on in your life to give any work you do some meaning you can be clear about. Sure some days you won't want to do it, other days you may find you enjoy doing it in the right mind-frame. That right mind-frame will become greater as time goes on, I assure you!

Ie. in regards to your design work, assuming you're working for clients you can tell yourself THIS WORK I'M DOING is so I can raise capital to fund my own websites which I'm doing to BUILD UP a revenue source that allows me to work around my own schedule.

Me personally I'm working a part-time job and doing some work on the side like building websites for people, but without meaning I aren't sure I'd be able to do it.

I'm doing it to fund websites I have planned
- Which will help me build up a regular income
- Which will allow me to rent an apartment
- Which will free me from parental distruptions
- Which will make me more independant
- Which will see me develop more in to this elusive 'man'
- Which will see me with a great partner
- Which will see me with a family and a life to be greatful for

Obviously the further that goes the less I worry or even think about it but it's all at the back of my mind when I approach work.

Know why you're working - it makes it a hell of a lot easier.

Remember though, us young 'uns are all still growing and the 'ability' to tolerate/accept work for what it is also I believe comes from maturity and aging.

You're worrying way too much for someone as young as you/us, but do remember that - we're young and can still say 'Fuck it'.

When you have rent to pay or kids to feed, you can't and you certainly will NOT think 'I can't be bothered working for the rent money' or 'I can't be bothered feeding my children today'. That ain't gunna happen buddy, trurst me!

Don't worry.... be happy....... life ain't all that serious for us just yet.

Focus and knowing where you're heading is key at this stage in my opinion. Get it and keep a hold of it, 'cos you can get extremely miserable and disheartened about life and YOUR life without it!

Pete

 

I'm actually having similar problems but it's not so much worrying for me. I've been trying to maximize my productivity by really getting rid of the unproductive stuff.

I started by quitting video games, TV, and all those other mind numbing activities. I found that instead of using all the extra time productively, I would sit around obsessing over the past and day-dreaming about the future. I think day-dreaming is similar to worrying except it's positively unproductive instead of negatively unproductive.

I recently started doing something though that has been working well for me... writing down two lists: "The Do List" and "The Don't Do list" (Yeah, I know it's lame, but it's working). Whenever I find myself doing something from the "don't do list", I immediately start doing something from the "do list" without a second thought. Don't do's include things like worrying, day-dreaming, thinking of excuses for procrastination, obsessing over the past, getting angry, etc. The "Do's list" includes things like: working on my websites, excersizing, reading, practicing piano, planning, etc. This way I can immediately get my mind off whatever I was doing that was unproductive and back on track.

If it sounds stupid, don't try it. But It's working well for me and I figured it might just work for you.

-LFG

 

When you write a list, it means you allow yourself to forget the list because it's written. Mentally yourself tells you that you can forget the list. And the only way to remember what to do is to read the list. So instead of doing what you have/want(more terrible) to do, you just push back the burden to the other day.

There is no tricks , first everybody is different and has different perceptions of life and who we are. For myself i better like to do what i have to do while i can do it. It makes me forget this terrible thought " And what if i fail ? ". The more you work like a bee, the more you dont pay attention to those "backyard thoughts".

2 years ago my dream was to become god, now i wanna become a robot. Robot doesnt think and work hard with undeniable logic

 

But actually i still do the list stuff when i want to stop smoking or eat macdonalds

 

If you have to put away things that waste your productivity time, something is wrong, because I enjoy any time I have. I for one never worried about having a lot of money, and never will, and I will be the first to tell you I won't have a lot of money. remember what the bible says about the love of money, it is the root of all evil, and it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of an needle than to enter heaven....... also 'what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul'......

Why do you worry about the future and such ? I was raised poor by the worlds standards and will live my life that way, but to me I am as happy as can be. I live in a 3 room apt here and drive a truck that is over 20 years old and rusty. The apt is great for my needs, in fact kinda big. The truck has been great, I have had it since 2000, (no monthly payments).

I go to work each day, and come home, work awhile on the net for some extra spending money to help make paying the bills easier, if I lose my net access or accounts, whoopeee that is more time to play my video games, read books or to go fishing again, which I still do, but not as much.

This worrying about the future and money is nuts, this life on the earth is so short fellows. For your sakes ENJOY life and accept Jesus as your lord and saviour, you then have eternity in heaven guaranteed......... You will be happy even in what the world calls poverty. I have absolutely NO worries about the future, mine is in the lords hand... by the way I am 46, and it gets better as you get older.

 

Eternity in heaven guaranteed, eh? How comforting.

I suppose those who don't accept Jesus as our lord and saviour, well, we're all fucked are we?

For crying out loud man. A 20 year old worrying over his future is a little bit more rational then a 46 year old believing in complete religious poppy-cock.

I will enjoy my life, live it by my rules and I will die and go out at peace with myself and the whole death thing. I will credit all my successes to me and perhaps some to lady luck, but your mate Jesus who won't even let folk in heaven simply 'cos they don't accept him as their saviour? Well he can fuck right off.

I like the rest of your posts sentiments, though. You're a good guy, and if it weren't for the Jesus thing, we could of been great friends.

Pete

 

Man you look so sad... Really you make me feel so bad

 

Mostly I been worried about if my company it doesn't work out, but today a company called to offer me an office job and wanted me to come in and take a look, I declined as I want to make my web design business succeed and make a career off that, so I guess there will always be other opportunity's out there incase my web design business fails in which I don't plan on letting happen.

 

I think it's normal at your age worrying about your future. As I'm 30 yr old now, I was on the same condition at your age. It's a transition process from your teenage world.

Everybody could success or fail on their lives no one could guarantee. Even succesful people have fail experience in the past.But a REAL MAN is a man who dare to take a chance. Here is my favorite quote :
'there is a time in life where someone have to take a decision, or he become nothing'

My point is, don't worry, take a decision what you believe either manage your own company or work with other company. Whatever your decision just do the best. If you failed, find another alternative and start again.

My personal advice IF you don't have any experience in business, maybe you should start by working to a company where you can gain experience for your own business later. How about it ???

 

no, if you think of the future and what ifs, you'll be pressured to do something that you don't want.

 

I totally respect your decision. Really. But... what happens if you do not have any money income on internet suddenly? I think you really should work in an office first before having a business on internet, it gives you experience! Experience is very important.
But this is my opinion. I'm glad somebody offered you something at least. Thats good, and dont worry opportunites will come arround the more you work hard and strive your best.

Lesson of the day. i agree, so its not like you lost something when you say you're worried? You lose something if you fail. You still didnt loose anything yet

 

relax, no need to worry. You have 7 years of experience in webdesign. If you use your head you will make good money with your skills.

 

Always think positive!!!

 

With skill, persistance and some good luck you cant go wrong